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Video games, Archer quotes, and game design? I could make these up all day. Don’t miss part one.

We do need a card called CHOPPERSAURUS. But I couldn't think of a good joke for it.
  • PHRASING BOOM: Enemy hero takes damage after emoting
  • BARRY DOES IT HURT: Redirect all damage to adjacent minion
  • OKAY TRY GUEST: Defeat your opponent while at full health and receive their Battle.net password
  • AIRBOOOAT: Minion attacks enemy hero twice then dies
  • TIGER TRANQS, BITCHES: Minions deal double damage while all jungle animals are frozen
  • FISHERMAN’S WIFE: On death, summon a 32 octopus
  • HOMEBOY MCJEWERSON: Kill two targets damaged by your minions
  • NOOOPE: Minion refuses to attack enemies who will kill it
  • CLASSIC LUKE THE SPOOK: Pretend to send a minion to your opponent’s side as a double agent but it still attacks your minions
  • BISHLAMEK GURPGORK: Dogs and snakes do double damage on Friday
  • I’M PACMAN JONES: Spend in-game gold to damage your opponent
  • BURT REYNOLDS IS ON LINE OOONE!!!: Enemy minions take 1 damage when an elite minion is played
  • SAY HELLO TO SISTER MORPHINE: Heal minion for 5 damage but freeze it for two turns
  • MELAWAN RAJA: Force an enemy minion to attack a specific target on your side
  • A TONTINE LADS: Last minion on the board receives the full health of friendly minions killed this turn
  • HAHAHA LEAVE IT: When the enemy hero attacks your hero, take one of their cards
  • KRIEGER KLENSE: Fully heal all your minions and silence them
  • FOX-EARED ASSHOLE: Minion scratches adjacent minions when placed
  • THE ZONE WILL BE ONE OF DANGER: Opponent emotes a different phrase than what they selected
  • SAY DWARVEN TECHNOLOGY AGAIN: Increase weapon’s durability to 10
  • OSTRICH BURGER: Place a stealth 0/1 minion on your opponent’s side
  • EMERGENCY TRACHEOTOMY: Minion dies if not healed within two turns
  • IT’S JUST LIKE THE OLD GYPSY WOMAN SAID: Select an opponent’s minion to die at the end of their next turn
  • RAMPAAAGE: Minion gains +5 attack and Windfury but is reduced to 1 health
  • APOLOGIZE TO MY TINNITUS: Explosions adjacent to this minion also damage it

UPDATE: Not quite done with these yet.